Step Three: Be realistic...or suffer the consequences.
No one is perfect; you will make mistakes.
Know that things are never what you expect them to be, even in the best situation. It is time to realize that blending two families is complex, difficult, and even frustrating at times. Everyone will struggle to find their place. Remember, too, that though it may have been easy for your spouse to fall in love with you, his children will be a tougher sell. They may still be hurting from the loss of their parent’s relationship (through divorce, or death), and accepting a new authority figure will not be top on their list of priorities. They will struggle to balance their budding feelings for you, and their loyalty to their biological parent.
Do not expect your step-children to call you mom/dad. It is not your job to replace their biological parent, and your future bond depends on that realization. Instead of forcing the relationship, or trying to conform to some ideal of what things should be, learn to let it be. In order to have an honest relationship, you must understand that things will develop in their own way, and in their own time. Simply be positive and supportive, let them know you are there, and allow them to come to you.
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